Death of Cartman
by Roxius
Summary: Driven to insanity by the fat boy, Kyle takes his ultimate revenge. Character death, insane Kyle, etc. Please R & R!


Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.

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Stan Marsh was jolted awake by the blaring ringtone of his cell phone, which laid alone on the night table beside his bed. Yawning, the young boy sat up in only his pajamas, and he glanced out his bedside window; the moon had a pristine glow that lit up the inky-black night sky. The main theme song to 'The Terrance & Phillip Show' continued to ring in a loop through the never-ending darkness, until Stan finally shook the drowsiness from his eyes and snatched up the phone into his hand.

'Who the hell could be calling me at this hour? It better not be Wendy again…'

Holding the receiver to his ear, Stan said in a quiet voice, "Hello? This is Stan Marsh…"

"…Stan? I'm really glad you picked up…" It was Kyle's voice.

Stan suddenly began to sit straighter than usual. "K…Kyle? It's you? What…what the hell are you doing, calling me this late? Goddammit…what's the matter?"

For about five seconds, there was no response. And then…

"Stan…what do you think about Cartman?" Kyle's voice seemed almost devoid of emotion, but Stan failed to notice this.

Almost laughing out loud from the obvious response to such a question, Stan replied with a smirk, "What do I think about him? He's an evil, self-centered, egotistical fatass son-of-a-bitch!! You of all people know that, Kyle…"

Kyle chuckled over the phone. "Yeah…you're right…that goddamn bastard…"

A minute of silence.

"Did you just call me to ask me something so frickin' obvious as what I think about Cartman…?" Stan asked, feeling a bit annoyed now.

"No…I just wanted to make sure…before I ask you one other thing…"

"…One other thing…?"

"If, tomorrow, it is announced on the news that Eric Cartman no longer exists on this Earth, gone forever and ever, so that he will never bother anyone or anything ever again…how would you feel?"

Stan cringed. 'What the fuck is Kyle talking about…?'

"…Can you please answer me, Stan?" It was growing blatant to Stan now that there was definitely something wrong with Kyle. A sweat drop rolled down the side of Stan's head.

"Stan?!" Kyle asked again, his voice growing in intensity.

"Uh…yeah, I'd be…really happy, I guess…" Stan replied half-heartedly.

"Really…?"

"Err…well, Cartman deserves some sort of just punishment for all the terrible things he's done…I suppose…" Stan rubbed the back of his head, unsure of what to say exactly.

Kyle was quiet, as if contemplating everything Stan had said all the way down to the period mark. "…Thanks, Stan…" Then, the line went dead, and Stan was left feeling quite perplexed.

'Jesus Christ…' Rolling his eyes, Stan slammed his cell phone shut, placed it back on the night table, and he curled back up underneath the covers, slowly drifting off to sleep without another thought regarding Kyle's strange call…

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Shoving his cell phone deep into his pocket, Kyle snickered maniacally to himself. Inside the bedroom of Eric Cartman, standing near the open bedroom window, the rays of moonlight revealed both Kyle's face and clothes to be stained in heavy doses of blood. Clenched tightly in his right gloved hand was a large blood-drenched kitchen knife, which gleamed in the light of the stars. Kyle had a mad look in his eyes as he turned to once again examine the results of his horrible deed.

Eric Cartman's corpse laid sprawled out on the floor, a large puddle of wet blood formed underneath. His face had been slashed apart, and his neck cut open. His eyes were gouged out and his tongue sliced off. His arms and legs were covered in bruises and cuts. A carving of the Star of David had been engraved into his stomach, and both his penis and his two testicles had been torn off and smashed to pieces. The boy had been killed in his sleep.

'You always hated Jews, didn't you, fatass? Well, now the symbol of Judaism will forever be apart of you…heh heh…and I crushed those goddamn fuckin' balls of yours, as well…now no one will ever be forced to suck them again, either…BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKIN' DEAD!!!'

Suddenly, with his blood lust still at a burning boil, Kyle had a rather disturbing idea. He walked over beside the bleeding body, and knelt down to get a better look. It was almost too hilarious for Kyle to bear, seeing the pompous bastard in such a mangled state. Cartman almost seemed…at peace now. A heavy, tense silence filled the chilly air.

'I know just what to do with this corpse…he'll finally get all the attention he's ever wanted…heh heh heh…I'll cut out your organs and spread them all about the house and yard, almost like decorations…then everyone shall cheer as you are finally DEAD!!! Everything was your fault…all the pain and suffering we've gone through!!!'

Kyle rose the knife high over his head…

His heart still smothered with nothing but hatred and contempt, even though the murder had already been completed…

A grin of pure insanity spread out on the boy's blood-stained lips…

'…You retarded, goddamn, motherfucking fatass bastard…'

He swung the knife downwards, and then…

…all was enveloped in darkness, and nothing more could be said or done.


End file.
